Moonshine

Hello, Cyber-sphere
It's been too long...

So much has changed in life.... and yet not.... since I last wrote. The devotionals I copied down and commented on are still truths of life and God, but both have a funny way of reminding us what we said. For instance, I just re-read my last post - funny how we can write something, forget about it, re-discover it, and be re-encouraged by it.

What I really want to write about now is the glory of what it means to be a human being, totally devoted to God, screwing up on a daily basis, yet still have a creator who has the grace to continually use us for His glory in spite of it all.

Sara Groves sings this truth that has recently lifted me up and reminded me of the purpose we hold on this earth: "You are the sun/ shining down on everyone/ light of the world/ giving light to everything I see/ Beauty so brilliant/ I can hardly take it in/ and everywhere You are is warmth and light/ And I am the moon with no light of my own/ still You have made me to shine/ and as I glow in this cold, dark night/ I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to You." Later the bridge goes on; "Shine on me with Your light/ without You I'm a cold dark stone/ shine on me/ I have no light of my own."

Think about it: the moon, a metaphor for humanity, has two sides to it. We, here on earth, only ever see one side of the moon. There is always that darker side that no one except astronauts get to see, and even their experiences are limited. The moon has no light of it's own - in order for us to see any part of it, we must have the sun. Even though the sun is several hundred million miles away, it is still bright enough that, when a small portion of it's light reaches the moon, the reflective dust on the surface gives us light in the darkness.

By comparison, humanity also has two sides to it. There is the evil, dark, selfish side that we were born into. Without the Son, that is what we would still be like: dark. Without the Son, we are a cold, dark stone, just like the moon. The dark side is something that is always with us, but with the light of the Son, we have the opportunity to shine His light to those around us.

Let me ask you something: What is the purpose of the moon? Please indulge my simplistic mind for a moment here; I mean, I'm no scientist as my parents could well attest to, but aside from having something to do with the tides in the ocean and the seasons, it's just a ginormous rock floating around this sphere we call Earth.

But that's just it.

We, like the moon, are simply a dark, cold object floating around in the universe. Dark and cold, that is, without the Son. The light that can potentially illuminate us only comes because of something greater than ourselves. We have to work past our darkness, but it still sometimes emerges. Just like a waning moon that loses 'sight' of the sun, when we lost sight of our Son, we too become dark. Like the moon, we move around our world, suspended between what we were born into, the darkness we see daily, and something greater than ourselves or our imaginations. Like the tides that are pulled by the gravity of the moon, our friends, family, and others are drawn to us depending on what 'phase' we are in. The waves of humanity are affected by our light, our gravity, and our distance.

However, unlike the moon, we have a choice. The people we have around us on a daily basis can and do see both sides. Our darkness will probably never go away, at least not this side of eternity. We must fight against it daily; if we don't the darkness rears it's ugly head and we lost the opportunities we have to serve, to love. But are we fighting on our own? What makes us feel like we have to? The Son has a warmth and beauty that we can absorb and reflect. He wants to share it with us, we need only turn our faces to Him.

Look at the moon the next time you are out. It's stunning. If the moon can be that beautiful merely reflecting the sun, what do we look like when we reflect the Son?

Changes

I don't like them....
I mean, I DO welcome them, but I also don't. Does that make sense? I try, really I do, to appreciate the challenges that life throws at me, but it's so hard to stave off the fear, the worry, the unknown creeping up like a snake, just waiting to bite you in the butt.

Don't get me wrong, I love adventure, new people, places, and things, but getting to that point is sometimes harder than expected.
This is what it is to be an adult. These are just a few changes that I want to contemplate:

Family - I think these are some of the hardest changes to adapt to. You have your family from the time you are born to the time you die. They will always be related to you, you will always have fights with them, you will always lose them to a certain extent. Take, for instance, my older brother. As we have grown, we went from being best friends, to worst enemies, to indifferent, back to best friends, now to an indescribable state of differences. We see the world through two different telescopes, limits set at two different heights. My younger sister: used to be the one I couldn't get away from even if I wanted to, now she's the only one I wish to be so much closer to, but now she has her own telescope, her own limits. When did that happen? Something about college and relationships developed within, changes a girl into a woman, one I can't relate to or talk honestly to anymore. My younger brother - sweetest kid in the world who I've always had an awesome relationship with and anticipate always being close to - And my parents: we've had our differences, but who hasn't?

What is it about the passing of years, the moving of households, the marriages, that changes a family so? The children, who come from the same parents, the same upbringing, each end up with their own telescope, all looking at the same world that God made, but all in different directions! Each one sees something different, and becomes convinced that their direction is right, perfect, and the only way to go. Why? When did we become so unmoving and ungracious that there is no room for differing points of view under the same heavenly Father?

Personal - These changes are always enlightening; sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes upsetting. I have recently taken some time to reflect on the many versions of myself that have happened over the years and, let me tell YOU, there have been alot. There was the shy, reserved, yet tenacious and precocious me. There was the depressed me, the one that saw no hope in life and only wanted to die. There has been the loving/loved me, the cheated-on/rejected me, the college freshy me, the ambitious me, and the soul searching me. The me who doubted that God existed, the me who wanted to proclaim to the world that He does.

Then there's the me of now. The still-single me, the me who wants everything the world has to offer, yet struggles with the prudence and wisdom of such desires, the me who has to think about more that just what new clothes to buy or how often I go out to party with friends.

And yet.....

Most days, I'm o.k. with this me. I've learned about patience and frustration, contentment and desire, waiting and going. I've had heartbreak, healing, independence, reliance, rejection, and love. All these things are contributing to the real me - Evolving Me. 'Cause let's face it - If that wasn't the real me, I would have broken a long time ago.

This is the frustration.... and the miracle.... of change. We learn, we adapt, we learn more, we adapt more. If we didn't, what would happen to the human race? What would happen to families, relationships, people? We would crumble. But how, why, are we like that? What is the 'cosmic glue' that holds people together? God. God is love. He created us in His image, His son preached all about it, the disciples preached all about it. We love BECAUSE He first loved us. Not because we have any primal desire to, quite the contrary! The fall of humanity made us hateful, greedy, vengeful, lustful - we lost certain characteristics that God originally made us to have. Yet because of His love for us, our ability to love remains.

Did you know that there are over 200 references in the Bible that have the word 'love' in them? I have yet to do more research on it, some kind of exegesis that will perhaps take place this summer, but I'm pretty sure that says something to us about the nature of God AND about WHY changes happen.

There is change because there is love. There is love because there is God. Therefore, change happens because of God. It's not easy, but I don't remember anything in the Word saying that it would be.