I went for a walk this evening. Nothing spectacular, but I found some great inclines and now my thighs are burning.... this is a goooood thing. :D Walking in the evening is one of my favorite things to do - The day is waning, the birds are still chirping (and in this case, flirting), and there is a general rest about the day. As I walked, I found myself musing about many things. For example....
Isn't it remarkable how good it feels to walk on a dirt path, which at this point is half mud, and smell all the newness of spring coming? To see the new buds peeking through that mud, to listen as the dry, old oak leaves fall from the trees to make room for the new buds that are pushing their way out. To hear the music of all the twitterpated birds: flirting finches, courageous cardinals, doting ducks, chipper chickadees, gallant geese, radiating red-winged blackbirds, even the squirrels want in, scolding from their high perches. All of this together makes a symphony worthy of God. And that's just it. Not only is it worthy of God, it's conducted by Him! He has created this world the perfect distance from the sun that spins at the perfect speed so we aren't crushed or find ourselves floating off, a speed and distance which also assures that seasons come and go, things are born and die, and the sun and the moon rise and set. These things offer us peace, but only if viewed with the understanding that there is a God who created this all. He is the One who maintains the consistency. He is the One in control and He could choose to change it or let it all go. What would happen to our sanity, for example, if the sun rose in the west one day? What about if rivers started flowing up or the tides were reversed? God could do that if He really wanted to, don't you think? Yet He chooses to maintain this consistency.
Why?
Because He loves us! We humans thrive on consistency. Some people tend to be more free-spirited than others (moi, for example), and yet if certain aspects of physics and facts of our known world ceased to exist, we would go out of our minds! God created each one of us and loves us so much that He gave us this world, trees and birds and animals and grass and rocks and mountains and rivers and oceans and the sun and the moon and the stars!!!!! Everywhere I look I see His glory and the joy that He created this world with.
Yet another thing that I saw was the sunset. Though obstructed to a certain extent by the obscenely large houses of the neighborhood, the sky above the setting sun testified to my Father's love for me. One moment I wished I had my camera with me to capture what I was seeing and share it with you, but the next I realized that nothing could compare to what I was seeing. First I wanted to compare the texture and color of the clouds to Monet, but maybe Manet was better. Or Cassat, but I didn't want to rule out Rembrant, Remington, Da Vinci, or any of the other 'greats' either. Digitalblasphemy.com? Still no. But as the moments passed, I stopped comparing. I was in awe. It kept changing. Each color slowly morphed into another or moved to a different cloud. Even the birds started to quiet. I could still hear the sound of traffic a mile away, but I shut it out as best I could to enjoy this symphony of sight.
As it started to get dark, I realized I really needed to head back to my car before it got too dark to see. I'm so thankful for Minnesota twilight (no, this is not when Norweigans grow fangs and the "ya, sure, you betchas" turn into "I vant to suck yooour bloooooood"). In California, when the sun is down, that's it, end of story, nighty-night. Twilight provides us with an opportunity for prolonged outdoor enjoyment.
As I continued my walk, I began to muse about other things. As I passed the large, beautiful (yet often excessive) houses with their families and dogs and three car garages, I started to want. I want that suburban home with the husband, dog, and four kids. I want to be able to have at least a two car garage and a nice trampoline in the back yard. Then my brain kicked in an I started thinking about how much that mortgage must be, what kind of an electric bill they must have, and how many 'things' I would have to fill a house like that. I started to think about how different my desire was from my logic. What is desire anyhow? Technically speaking it's a socially programed response that triggers chemical responses to synapses in the brain. At least.... I think that's what it is. Anyhow....... I thought, "Why is it so often that the brain and the heart don't agree (not physically speaking, of course)?" The heart is the seat of desire and dreams, and the brain is the seat of logic and reason. They're in the same body! Why can't they just call a truce and agree? Then I realized that they only don't agree when I'm in control!
'What?', you say? Let me explain...
When I'm in control, I have to manage everything that's going on inside my head as well as attempting to manage my environment. When I'm in control, I do what I want and not necessarily what's in God's plan for me. There is a reason my heart and mind often can't agree. There's a reason I can't think straight or decide when I'm relying on my understanding of the situation.
It's because He wants me to give up control. I'm not supposed to be in control of my life. He is. I'm supposed to remember that He has the best plan for my life and He wants to communicate that to me, but He can't if I'm thinking all on my own all the time.
This revelation came to me through a series of events. On St. Patrick's day I heard on the radio that Irish Christians used to pray about ever aspect of life, from a good season for crops to a spider bite. Doing laundry was also prayed over! Then, last Wednesday at church we talked about the many aspects and importance of prayer. My pastor's wife talked about how long it has taken her to understand the importance of prayer. She also prays over the laundry and has had God speak to her about washing or not washing certain items. Then yesterday I watched "Facing the Giants" for the first time. It involves a Christian school football team that hasn't won a season in 6 years, and a football coach who feels like his life is going down the tubes: things in his house keep breaking down, they can't have children and the doctors say it's his fault, his car keeps breaking down, and there are people in the school who want to fire him. One day, a man who always prays over the students' lockers, approaches the coach and tells him that he needs to remain faithful in spite of the difficulties in his life, that God wants to use him, but that he needs to start searching, praying, and listening. Once this coach revises his life and team philosophy, things start turning around. He realizes that it's not about him; it's about living life for the glory of God, no matter what happens, and never giving up on Him. Through the course of the story, we see almost an entire town turn around because of one coach's faithfulness in spite of the hard times.
Never give up. Praise God always. Give up the control to Him.
This is when life with start making sense. This is when the heart and the mind will start to agree. When we agree with God that we can't handle it on our own and rely on Him to make things make sense, which sometimes takes a long time, only then will we learn to be content in life. Only then will we learn to be thankful and happy with where God places us at different times in our life.
No comments:
Post a Comment