Life is a funny thing.
Sometimes it's rainy, sometimes it's sunny; sometimes busy, sometimes boring; sometimes fast sometimes slow. Today is a rainy (literally), marginally boring, slow day.
And it's my day off :)
Since my last post, things have improved immeasurably! Last week was overly stressful and unbelievably busy. Work the first part of the week, meltdown Tuesday night, 4 house guests Thursday and Friday night (my family), 2 more early Saturday morning night, a wedding rehearsal and ceremony Thursday and Friday (with tornadic tendencies one day and Sahara-like heat the next), church Sunday morning and necessities shopping with the roommates Sunday night. Uff-da! Sunday after church I'd left a note for my Caribou manager informing him of my need for less hours - typically an odd request. I knew I'd probably have to cover Monday and Tuesday closing shifts for the next couple of weeks, as they had already been scheduled. I had searched for someone to cover my Monday night this week to no avail. However, when I did arrive Monday night to work, I found that my manager had somehow already rearranged the schedule for next week so that I only work Wednesday mornings! I couldn't believe it! What a blessing!
In addition to that brightening my day, I also had someone ask me out on a date! It was a little odd as it was a customer who I had only seen a few times before. He's a nice enough guy, but I'm not sure how old he is or what his faith is, so I didn't really give him an answer. I have no desire to get in over my head again with someone who doesn't share my relationship in my Father. As flattering as it was, it also made me think about my hopes and dreams for my future. I know everything is in God's hands, but I also know (with help from Dr. Barnes in college) that we were not made to be helpless clay. God provided His salvation so that we would have a way to escape the typical worries of a human life. We still have them, but because of His salvation we also have a way to hand them over to His control in exchange for the peace that passes all understanding.
I know that He has a perfect plan for my future and I need to be still on a regular basis to listen for His leading. But I also know that I need to make a decision to not worry and pray for my future husband on a regular basis. Honestly, this very principle of trust and honor is something that I have scoffed at for years. I used to think that it was pointless to pray for someone or something that may never happen. Now I see differently. I have been working very hard to make prayer a part of my daily life, as frequent as breathing.
Unfortunately, it's not as easy or as comfortable as breathing. I have found that it can be quite painful. In prayer, we are required to give up something of ourselves, of our selfishness. I don't want to pray for the people who have hurt me, but in doing so I am slowly healing. I don't like not having a set plan for the next 5 years of my life, but in doing so I open myself up more to the doors that God will open. I REALLY don't like giving up my financial situation to God, but in doing so and being faithful of everything that He is asking of me now, I continue to be stretched.
Nothing about a life of faith is logically comfortable. Faith takes away OUR control of situations, but it turn, we open our eyes and our hearts to see God do outstanding things through us and leave behind a legacy of faithfulness. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have the best that He's got for me and life for HIS glory than live with a faulty perception of what I was created for.
I am not an accident of particles and cells colliding or morphing. I am a miracle; flawed in my humanity, but saved and daily working to become more like Christ.
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